Fill up a large flask with Lucozade. Squirt it erratically under the stall cubicle of your neighbours while yelling, "Whoa! Easy big boy!"

Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a melon into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy!! Don't fall asleep on me!!"

Say, "Hmm, I've never seen that colour before. ......"

Say, "Interesting. . . more floaters than sinkers.