To see you off to bed

Hi to everybody...here's a night cap....you'll have to wait for the punchline to the second one...HLOL....

A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As the
bartender watches he drinks one drink and pours the other
one on his hand. He orders two more drinks and does the
same thing. The third time the bartender asks him what's
going on. "Why are you pouring that drink on your hand"? The
man smiles at him, winks and says "I'm trying to get my date
drunk."

_______

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her
full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner.

The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.

Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her,
his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft
murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly
released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of
surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh.
He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldly
taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements
deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.

Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had
gone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it seemed that ecstasy
was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment,
she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!"
Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made
only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met
his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes.

And he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned.
Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again
and again and again............

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE SHOPPING FOR SHOES?

What were you expecting? HLOL...

__________

"Do you have any batteries?" a woman asks the hardware store clerk.
"Yes, m'am." The clerk gestures with his finger. "Can you come this
way?"
"If I could come that way," the woman says, "I wouldn't need the
batteries."

__________

That's it...hope you had a good day, will have a restful night, sweet dreams and big hugs to one and all...